Everyone has their breaking point. Often times victims will endure abuse for years and suddenly react when they feel someone they know is in danger of being abused. Such is the case of Aaron Vargas. He endured years of abuse, but when he thought his child was in danger of being abused by the same man who abused him, he confronted him with a gun. Aaron was free of his abuser’s grip, but paid for it with his own freedom. Aaron was sentenced to 9 years in jail for killing the guy he said sexually abused him for decades.
So do we look at Aaron as we would anyone else who kills someone? Does it make it better that he killed someone who most people will sleep better knowing he is gone? Or does Aaron get a pass because he was failed by a system so long that he ran out of other options in dealing with his abuse. Too many times this lack of options results in the person holding the gun and the person who dies being the same person.
If Aaron had picked up a gun and shot this man when he was first being abused at age 11, he would probably be doing Oprah as a hero. People don’t realize that part of the abuse involves turning the fight/flight switch off. It’s like elephants who are chained up. They long ago stopped being held by the chain, but their brain doesn’t know it. They are still that young elephant that can’t move past the chain. The fact that the fight back instinct kicked in years later seems to change the perception in the eyes of the court.
What do you think?
Do I think Aaron did the right thing? No. Could I see myself reaching that same point? Probably. If you’ve lived through any part of this, you can see how it can happen. Giving Aaron a free pass would essentially be declaring open season on sex offenders. While many people might find this appealing, that isn’t the answer either.
So what’s the answer? I would hope that Aaron’s family would continue to generate awareness of the incident. The punishment might follow the letter of the law, but not the spirit. Hopefully this can shed some much needed light on a broken system. Perhaps some enlightened public official will realize that this is just a symptom of how children are often not protected by our legal system.
For more information on the case visit – http://www.saveaaron.com/
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
