The latest papal apology by the Pope fell more than a little short by most estimates. Groups dealing with clergy abuse have almost unanimously expressed their disappointment with the latest papal remarks. It is a start, but not what people are looking for. So what is it that people need?
Clergy sexual abuse is unique in one key aspect. Most child sexual abuse ultimately destroys a trusted relationship. Clergy abuse falls into this category as well, but there are actually two relationships that are damaged. The first is the relationship with the abuser, and second is the relationship with the church.
Validation
Apologies are nice, but even good apologies in this case really don’t solve the problem. Most clergy victims aren’t really looking for papal apology. They are looking for validation of what happened to them, assurances that this will never happen again, and they would like to repair the relationships that can be repaired.
This is where the Catholic Church has dropped the ball. The strategy in the past has been one of containment. It has cost them the trust of their members, and millions in legal fees. What they need is transparency, because this is the basis of reestablishing trust. And here is the hope for clergy abuse victims. The trust with their abuser may have been destroyed, but the church can build a safe environment where past victims can trust again. This is more than apology. It’s what victims are looking for.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
