Transgender Sex Offenders

Transgender Sex Offenders

Much like military intelligence and jumbo shrimp, the idea of transgender sex offenders is generally an oxymoron.  I only put the two terms together because that is what certain groups would have you believe.  As battle lines are being drawn through our public bathrooms, it would be nice to have a dose of reality.

Most of us have been following the drama with the North Carolina law, but the wave is spreading.  Unless you are gay or in a state bordering North Carolina you might not give their new bathroom law too much credence.  On the other hand, Target Corporation has taken a position which puts the transgender bathroom issue front and center.  They are instituting a policy which affirms the rights of transgender persons to use the bathroom that matches the gender they identify with.  I think it’s a bold step forward, but not everyone agrees.  Calls to boycott Target are stirring in many conservative religious areas.  So far the American Family Association, a Tupelo, Miss.-based religious non-profit organization founded by First United Methodist pastor Donald E. Wildmon has issued a petition that has received 1.2 million signatures.  So this is not an issue that is going to be resolved quietly.

Importance of Education

Aside from the general ignorance of transgender people, the American Family Association clearly doesn’t know who sexual predators are.  In their attacks on Target they argue that “Target’s policy is exactly how sexual predators get access to their victims. And with Target publicly boasting that men can enter women’s bathrooms, where do you think predators are going to go?” It’s a ludicrous argument on several levels.

Most sexual offenders are heterosexual adult males.  Virtually all sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.  The percentage of sexual assaults that occur in bathrooms involving strangers is not even statistically significant – but they will make the news.   Transgender people are actually at higher risk of being victims of sexual abuse.  Transgender and transvestite are conceptually different.  The first is about creating a new reality for your gender identity.  The other is more about creating a fantasy.  Also, you are highly unlikely to have sex offenders who are are transgender.  But you are are somewhat likely to have sex offenders who are transvestites.  This is where things get a little muddy.  

It would be a rare situation where a potential offender will dress up for purposes of getting access to women’s restrooms.  I’m sure it happens now,  and it will probably happen in the future.  Still these are the incidents which hate groups will use to target transgender individuals who are using the bathroom which they gender identify with.

Privacy

It’s going to take a while before some people stop paying attention to chromosomes being the key for public bathroom entry.  Regardless of the symbol on the door, bathrooms should be a place of privacy.  It would nice if that privacy extended to the door and not just the stall.

Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.

Problems with Teen Sexting

Problems with Teen Sexting

A recent incident with a Connecticut football team sharing pictures of girls has gone from a slap on the wrist and a forfeited game, to potential charges of child pornography.  I don’t know who first came up with the idea of teen sexting.  It was probably inevitable given the available technology.  Then you have magazines like Vogue and Cosmopolitan giving you helpful tips to make your sexts tantalizing.    Officially these magazines are targeting professional women between 18 and 30 something.  But whether it’s teenagers reading mom’s copy, or girls wanting to be older and like the women in the magazine, you now have a problem.

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College Disciplinary Committee or Court

College Disciplinary Committee or Court

There’s an interesting debate going on at campuses around the country. What to do with sexual assaults? Is it simply a matter of referring all sexual assaults to the police, or should they be managed internally by a college disciplinary committee? It’s an issue that gets pretty complicated the more you talk about. There are actually problems with both approaches.

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Catchall Sex Offender Laws

Catchall Sex Offender Laws

Sexual assault is such a charged topic that lawmakers are generally quick to say they are tough on sex offenders.  States will compare themselves in terms of how tough they are on sex abuse.  This tends to lead to catchall sex offender laws.  All offenses are categorized and all offenders fit into one of the categories.  Sounds pretty simple.  Unfortunately there are cases that might meet the legal definitions but probably are the exception.

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The Stephen Collins Interview

I didn’t want to watch the Stephen Collins interview with Katie Couric but my wife wanted to so it was inevitable.  As parents we look at the issue of sex offenders somewhat differently.  She would simply have all pedophiles executed.  It’s pretty straight forward, gets rid of the current problem and sends a message.  It’s also not going to happen.  While having a similar initial reaction I know that this is a problem of society that you can’t simply weed out the offenders.  You have to find a way to deal with them.  Almost every day I see cases of children that are sexually abused as well as children who sexually abuse others.  In some respects they are different sides of the same coin.  And since you can’t have a coin with only one side, you have to have a strategy for both.

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